These Feelings Within Me
by DarkAthemist05
Summary: One night Meryl cannot sleep because of Milly's infmaous sleeping habits. So, instead of going back to sleep, Meryl ponders about her feelings towards a certain gunman at night.


**Summary: One night Meryl cannot sleep because of Milly's infmaous sleeping habits. So, instead of going back to sleep, Meryl ponders about her feelings towards a certain gunman, but in doing so might cause her to become just a bit of a risk taker that might just give the Humanoid Typhoon an ear full of everything.**

**Disclaimer: I don't owe the characters in Trigun nor do I even owe the series Trigun, but it would so cool if I did. Lolz. Meryl and Vash together foreverrr!!**

**'thinking'**

**"talking"**

**NOTE: Please... be kind with your words whenever you leave me a comment. If you need to give me tips, please do so in a formal and kind manner. I do not want to feel degraded. Show me respect and I'll show you respect back. THANK YOU FOR READING! HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

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"_I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her. She practically snores every freak in night now!"_

**There in a dark hotel room lay 2 people. 1 asleep; which would be Milly Thompson and the other one, which is Meryl Stryfe who is very much wide awake, obviously because of her very good companion snoring loudly like a lion. Abruptly, the snoring suddenly stopped and the girl in the bed that was left of Milly Thompson sighed in relief.**

"_Finally!" Meryl thought desperately, "maybe this time I can finally get some sleep. Thank you!"_

**Slowly, Meryl closed her eyes and breathed in a deep breath. Seconds went by followed by minutes, a light snore can be heard, but it wasn't as bad as it was before. Grunting and loud movements could be heard beside the bed from Milly and it was obvious that the petite girl was not very comfortable.**

"**GAH! I CAN'T SLEEP!" Meryl whispered harshly while sitting up, "this is just great and we have to get up early tomorrow." **

"_It isn't like this never happened before. In fact, I think this is the 3__rd__ time already that I can't sleep well tonight. If I don't watch it I'm going to get bangs under my eyes. I think I already do. Oh well, I might as well just do what I always do when I can't go back to sleep. Time to go to the kitchen and make me some chocolate milk," Meryl thought, weary._

**Very quietly, Meryl tiptoed to the entrance to the room and the only very thing blocking her way towards the kitchen. Inch by inch she opened the door being careful not to wake Milly or anybody else in the household. Which should we say would be Vash, Wolfwood, and Knives. **

"_I can't believe he's alive. He has the nerve to come back to us after 4 months and think that everything is all right. Well, it's NOT all right. Considering that Milly cried her eyes out for him every night and he __**better**__ start explaining how the hell he survived or he's not going to be staying under __**my**__ roof. Not to mention that we got Vash's insane and his murderous brother in this house too. Why didn't he just leave him in the desert to rot! No…Vash wouldn't do that, Meryl. You know better than that. Vash is just too kind-hearted and…besides…he loves his brother and he wants to help him."_

**Within a few seconds the door finally opened enough for Meryl to squeeze through and she further delayed on opening it any further for she knew that if she opened it anymore, it was bound to squeak and squeak. She should know this all right, she happened to almost wake Milly up yesterday from the squeakiness from the door. Silently, Meryl slipped through the door and stepped into the cold, dark hallway. **

"_Good job, Meryl," she sighed with relief, "you're getting better at this. You keep this up and you can become a great thief."_

**Meryl chuckled and made her way through the dark hallway to the kitchen being careful not to bump into things like the table, or break anything like the vase that was on top of the table.**

**After a few minutes of fixing up her chocolate milk Meryl sat down on the chairs and quietly sipped her chocolate milk while looking up at the stars in the darken sky. **

"**They sure do look beautiful on this night," Meryl sighed dreamily, "wonderful for a romantic evening. EH!? Okay? Where the heck did that come from?"**

**Shaking her head Meryl continued to gaze up at the stars, but for some reason she didn't want to look at the stars anymore, her gaze was pulled to the Fifth Moon somehow. Its radiant glow was so bright and shiny that it looked like it was just newly polished.**

"_Vash's moon, his mark. His mark of agony is on that moon. Vash."_

**Meryl sighed heavily and continued to look up at the beautiful moon that had a big black hole in it that was made by the Humanoid Typhoon himself. **

"_I wonder what he is doing right now. What am saying?! He's asleep of course! You can't be that stupid now, Meryl? Ugh, maybe I should have just drank tea instead. No, I tried doing that yesterday night and all that gave me was an addiction of more tea. Besides, why would I want to know?"_

"_Simple of course, you want to see him," abruptly Meryl's conscious said._

"_Eh? Me?! See him?! Yea right! You wish!"_

"_You mean __**YOU**__ wish. Don't hide the fact, Meryl dear. We already had this talk yesterday. Do we have to go over it again?"_

"……"

"_Just as I thought, you do remember what we talk-"_

"_Yea, I know. I know I still remember it all so clearly."_

"_So…why so glum? Shouldn't you be happy that you're in lo-I mean that you LIKE the Humanoid Typhoon?"_

"_**Lo-I mean LIKE.**__ That's the problem."_

"_Ugh, here we go again."_

"_I mean come on I don't deserve to be in...I don't deserve to like him and I don't deserve to BE with him. I just…annoy, yell, scream, and boss him around. Would YOU like a girl like that? Huh? Would you?"_

"_Meryl, if he was so irritated by you then he would __**LOVE **__to get away from you, but he doesn't do that now does he? If he wanted to escape your wrath than he would, actually he does try to do that, but on the other hand he just takes your bickering and tries so hard not to make you angry, and whenever he does something nice. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO OFF AND YELL AT HIM?!!"_

"_I…I don't mean to. I just…I can't. I mean…believe me I don't mean to yell at him. I would rather hug him and say thank you a million times, but…somehow…whenever I do want to say those things all that comes out of my mouth are the total opposites of what I would really to say to him."_

"_You really do need to control your temper, Meryl. At this rate…you might…."_

_I might what? Are you saying if I don't stop flaring at him that I might…that I just might…lose Vash?"_

"_Precisely."_

"_But he wasn't MINE to begin with!!"_

"_Yea, but…you and let me say this again YOU have now GIVEN your HEART to HIM even though YOU didn't want to. You just did and didn't you say yesterday that you didn't want to get hurt?"_

"_You're right. I don't want to get hurt. I don't even remember when I DID give my heart to him. I still can't believe that I even…."_

"_I know. Shocking isn't it?"_

"_Yea…I was pretty shocked at first when…I figured out that I…did…."_

"_It's alright, Meryl. You don't have to say that yet. You can say it when you're ready."_

"_Ready!? I'll never be ready and…I can't tell him. Besides, Vash the Stampede doesn't like me as I do for him. He hates me! No, he doesn't hate me. He really __**really**__ dislikes me like. Like...like…like how much he hates people with bad hearts."_

"_Oh, Meryl."_

"_It's true! At least…it should be?"_

"_Right…Meryl, I won't force it upon you, but…."_

"_But?"_

"_When you're ready. It's up to you whether you want to tell him or not, and…just let it flow from there, but let me tell you one last thing, Meryl. Don't and boy do I mean DON'T… lie to yourself. Good luck."_

"_Yea, luck. That's what I need nowadays. It seems like I can't stand to be in the same room with Vash anymore. Because if I am in the same room with him it feels like any second I'm going to break down and cry right in front of him because of the amount of pain I feel in my heart everyday. It just...grows and I can't stop it. Not yet at least. Oh, Meryl. You really screwed up this time didn't you? First, you let your emotions get in your way. Second, you can't sleep well, and third...you just let yourself…fall for Vash the Stampede. What else is new?"_

**Frustrated, Meryl once again looked up into the sky staring at the moon intently; thinking about what she should do about that special someone in her life.**

"_When did I first start falling in…I mean when did I start falling for him? When? This so funny, I'm actually falling for the man who gives me a serious migraine once and awhile, and gets me so angry that I MUST beat the crap out of him everyday. Oh gosh. I can't believe this is happening to me! At least…I'm not the only one in this problem. If my statement is right MILLY is IN LOVE with Mr. Nicholas D. Wolfwood."_

**Putting her finished chocolate milk down on the table, the light blue headed woman pulled her legs towards her chest and hugged it close for comfort. Gazing at the empty cup in front of her, Meryl started crying without even noticing the warm flow of the tears.**

"_Why do I feel like this? My heart…it feels like it's about to crumble into pieces. It feels like it's going to…break. It IS breaking, but why? I already know I like Vash. I really really like him. So, why do I feel so sad? Why is it…that LIKE doesn't seem…to be enough for me? I have already admitted to myself that I like him so much. So, why the pain, why the depression? I hate this. I HATE this feeling so much. Why is it...that I feel so empty inside even though I'm surrounded by loving people?" _

**With that last thought on her mind, Meryl cried softly to herself letting all her emotions out, letting all her pain out, letting all her sorrow out. She hugged her legs even closer that it crushed her chest. She gripped her legs so hard that her knuckles turned white and she cried quietly on top of her knees.**

**Seconds passed by and the muffled sounds of a sad woman were slowing ebbing away. All that was left were hiccups to break the silence and deep, calm breaths. Eventually, Meryl loosen her grip around her legs and her knuckles started to have the familiar color of pink on her hands. Lifting her head up she gazed at the moon again. Tears were slowly cascading down her cheeks and her eyesight was still blurry so all she saw was a wavy looking moon. **

"**Even though," Meryl whispered hoarsely, "I have confessed that I like Vash. Something is missing within me and I know what it is. I just don't want to believe it. I know that I always want to be around him and I NEED to be with him. I WANT to be with him…forever and ever. I just can't... Besides, I just LIKE him nothing more and I'm sure as years go by this feeling that I feel for him will go away soon. I'm pretty sure of it. It's just a crush right? What am I saying? Your really are dumb, Meryl, your lying to yourself…again."**

**Deliberately, Meryl stood up from her lonely spot and picked up her empty cup to place it in the sink. **

"**I guess. I should turn myself in now," said Meryl weakly. **

**Meryl walked slowly in the dark hallway towards her room. Still thinking and confused about her feelings for the wanted gunman that use to be her assignment, but as she neared her dorm she stopped suddenly and looked up at the door that was at the end of the small hallway. Wolfwood's and Knives's room was the first among the 3 bedrooms, Meryl and Milly's room was at the middle, and Vash's room was at the end.**

**Hesitantly, Meryl walked quietly to Vash's room. As she neared her destination she saw that his door was a few inches open. Abruptly, she stopped right on her tracks to his room.**

"_What am I doing? Am I actually going to Vash's room? Why am I going there anyway? He's asleep. He's not going to be awake. I should turn back and go to bed. This is silly."_

**Turning fully around, Meryl continued walking to her room, but after taking 3 steps she stopped again, and turned half way around to look back at Vash's door.**

"_Should I? WHAT THE HECK AM I SAYING?! JUST TURN AROUND, MERYL! Your room is just there! Just take 3 more steps and you're there!! GO BACK TO BED!!"_

**But no matter how much she said to go back to bed, she kept on advancing towards his door. Her mind kept screaming at her, "Get back to bed! Turn around! Don't go in there!" but her heart was telling her, "Go on in, go see Vash, you won't stay that long anyway." **

"_Yea, I won't stay that long. I'm just going to check on him and make sure that he's all right. Nothing more. I'm probably going to stay there for just a few seconds anyway. Besides, he won't even know I'm in there. So, what's the harm in it?"_

**By now Meryl was in front of Vash's door and she can see the end of the bed with Vash's feet sticking up from underneath its covers. Still battling on what she should do, Meryl stood there in the dark hallway tensed. **

"_I just want to check on him that's all. What harm is in that?"_

**Finally making up her mind, the small girl hesitantly reached for Vash's doorknob, but suddenly she heard Vash's voice speak out in the dark.**

"**No…don't…stop please I don't want…"**

**Meryl froze. Her hand was halfway to the doorknob and she wasn't breathing. She can hear her own heartbeat beating in her ears. It was so strong and loud in her ears, she thought the whole house can hear her heartbeat, but after a few seconds went by all she heard were the crickets chirping a song into the night. **

"_Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all. I really should go back, this is stupid of me to do. NO. I…he's probably back asleep by now, or is he asleep?"_

**Scared to the bone that the Humanoid Typhoon could still be awake; she stood there in front of his door once again. Battling was going on in Meryl's body. Her heart and her mind were constantly at each other; her was mind telling her, "Don't do it!" but her heart screamed, "Do it!" **

**Frustrated and stuck on what she should do, Meryl made a very shocking decision. She was going to go see Vash and check on him.**

**So, with the final decision made, Meryl grabbed the doorknob and taking a deep deep breath quietly inched the door opened. The room wasn't as dark as she thought it would be. The only light that was in the room was from the window that was beside Vash's bed. It was a warm room and it smelled so much like Vash himself, and as Meryl poked her head thorough the door she immediately smelled his aroma. **

**Waiting for a few seconds, she went through the door, shutting it quietly. Meryl sighed in relief that the broom-head wasn't awake and glad that he didn't hear her come in. **

"_Glad he picked this room or else he would really hear me come in. If he had picked the room that I'm sleeping in right now. I would be dead right where I stand. Wait a second? I AM DEAD WHERE I STAND! I'M IN VASH'S ROOM, IDIOT!!"_

**Taking silent big breaths to calm herself down Meryl stood against the wall for support. After taking 3 deep breathing sessions she looked at the small bed that held the person that she came to check up on.**

**Walking slowly and silently like a tiger about to pounce her prey, Meryl carefully moved her way toward his bed. As she neared the yellow headed boy, she couldn't help, but feel the urge to wake him up and see his smile or his grin shining at her, but she knew she couldn't do that. So she just shook the thought away.**

"_I can't believe I'm doing this. Gosh, Meryl, you scare me on how much you have changed ever since you have met him. Look at you. You're practically breaking into Vash's room while he's asleep just to see him. Wait. See him?! I'M NOT SEEING HIM I'M JUST CHECKING UP ON HIM!!"_

**Meryl slapped herself mentally and continued on walking to Vash's bed, but after what seemed like centuries in order to reach her destination she was finally at the side of Vash's bed. The moon was shining through the window making his face paler than usual, but his face held a bit of worry and a hurt expression like he was in agony.**

"**Vash," Meryl whispered painfully, seeing the look on his face almost made her cry again, "it's alright." Meryl gasped quietly. Quickly realizing her mistake Meryl covered her mouth and immediately held her breath praying that he wouldn't wake up.**

"_STUID STUPID STUPID, MERYL! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS WHEN YOU'RE AROUND HIM!! ACTING LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT!!" _

**Looking at Vash again, she couldn't help, but relax just a little bit at the scene in front of her. Vash was sleeping on his back; his face was no longer a hurt expression, but now a serene look was on his face, and he looked so much like a God with the moon's rays shining at him.**

**Meryl bent down on her knees and placed her arms on the side of his bed and laid her head on top of her hands. Gazing at Vash like a mother would gaze at her first-born child and smiling like a 4-year-old kid, she felt like laughing right at that moment. **

"_Oh, Vash, it feels like I haven't seen you for so long. Like it has been 100 years since the last time I saw you, but that's stupid of me, right? I just saw you 6 hours ago. You and Wolfwood were playing cards while Milly watched and tried to learn how to play, and me? Well…I was watching…well…I was watching…. I was watching you, and it's kind of funny right now because I'm watching you again. Only…you don't know and you can't see me." _

**Meryl sighed quietly and looked at the moon again. It seems like nowadays, she can't help, but stare at the moon. Their was something about it that gave her comfort and helped her stay calm at most times. **

**Suddenly, Vash shifted and he was no longer on his back, but now on his side facing Meryl herself. Meryl froze and again she held her breath like it would wake him up any second. His hands that use to be at the side of him were now on top of Meryl's arms and his face was now inches apart from her own face. Scared that she would wake him up Meryl stood still like a statue.**

"_Crap. This is just great! I got to stay still if I move I might wake him up and I don't want to do that. Not while I'm in the room! What do I do? What do I do? Calm yourself down woman. It's okay. He's not awake and you're still fine at the moment. Just don't move."_

**Minutes passed by and Meryl still looked like a statue with eyes wandering around the room and finally resting on Vash's sweet face. **

"_He looks so much like a child. A handsome child to say the least, and might I say he's also very annoying, a total idiot, loves to look up women's skirts, causes trouble sometimes, and he is totally crazy about donuts! But…at the same time, he's kind and gentle, sweet and very…charming, loyal and giving. Is that what drew me to him?"_

**Thinking that Vash was truly fast asleep Meryl finally relaxed and continued to gaze at his angelic face. Moving very slowly, she moved her arms away from Vash's hands. Getting her right arm finally free Meryl started to remove her left arm, but without warning Vash moved his hands and slid it under his pillow.**

**Meryl, who was having a really bad heart attack at the moment, finally regained composure after Vash's unexpected movement. **

"_I'm going to die in Vash's room because of a heart attack if I keep on doing this to myself. Heck, I might even not survive for tomorrow. Wait a second? How long have I been here? Agh, so much for checking up on him, he's fine anyway. So…why did I come in here for?"_

"_Because you wanted to see him and you missed him, stop lying to yourself. Didn't I tell you that already?"_

"_This isn't a good time right now to have a conversation ya know."_

"_Well sooorry. I'm not the one who just came in here by her own free will now, did I?"_

"_Shut up. I was just-"_

"_Checking up on him? Sure you were. It doesn't really look like it at the moment. You practically are gazing at him a lot. If you're going to check on someone you look at them to see if they're all right. Not stay in there and gaze at him all day. I don't think bending down next to his bed is necessary, Meryl. You could have just stood up and checked up on him from there. That would have been less of a hassle and a better view too. Which reminds me, why are you still here, Meryl, you could have left hours ago."_

**Shocked at what her conscience just told her Meryl knew that it was right. Shaking her head she watched Vash with sad eyes and sighed loudly without realizing it.**

"**Oh gosh, why do you do this to me Vash? Why? Look at me? I'm basically sneaking into your room just so I can see you. I had a normal life ya know. Working in the office, doing paper work, talking to friends, having parties, and other things, but that all changed when I was assigned to go find you and to make sure you don't cause too much damage, but…when we did find you. My life changed so fast. We went from town to town following you and getting into all sorts of trouble. At first I had to follow you because it was my job, but…that changed too. I hated it you know. I hated that we had to follow you around the whole planet like we were babysitting you, but then all of a sudden. I woke up the next morning and found out that I didn't hate it anymore. It grew…comfortable. Like my life was always like this. Getting into trouble and following you around. So much can happen after 8 months, huh? Being with you changed me, Vash, and yet…I'm still changing, all because of you."**

**Without thinking, Meryl placed her hand on Vash's cheek; it was warm and soft. It was a welcoming feeling to feel his skin on the palm of her hand. Meryl smiled softly and stroked his cheek with her thumb. **

"**That's strange. The feeling of pain and hurt is gone. It's like you made it all go away. You surprise me every second I'm with you, Vash. Like right now. My heart was breaking a few hours ago and now…it's like I never had those feelings within me. All because of you, you have that kind of affect on me, Vash. Back then I would scowl at myself and blame you for these new emotions that I felt in me. Now I don't. It suddenly dawned on me that…it just happens and sometimes we can't stop it. No matter how hard we try."**

**Still stroking his cheek Meryl smiled a lovingly smile at her gunman. She sighed silently to herself and scanned the room that she was in. Somehow she wanted to look around her surroundings. On the end of Vash's bed was a chair and on that chair hanged Vash's red coat and his favorite silver gun. **

**Looking back at the man that Meryl was stroking. She shifted her hand and started to stroke Vash's cheek with the back of her fingers. His skin was so soft like a newborn baby's and smooth like silk. Very lightly, Meryl could see a smile forming around the corners of Vash's mouth, and Meryl chuckled quietly to herself.**

"**I was pretty…frustrated and shocked at first, Vash. When you left to go battle your brother Knives. I felt like I was loosing you forever, and the feeling that I felt before when you left us and we couldn't find you; came back," Meryl whispered silently out loud to herself. "I was so angry with myself that I let that feeling come into my system again, but I couldn't stop it. Heck, I couldn't even control the new feelings that were surfacing within me, and whenever they do surface they all involved because of you. I thought I was loosing my mind. I couldn't have any feeling for you that was silly and stupid I thought, but then…when I cried at night. I suddenly realized it was because of you.**

**I…couldn't understand why though. I thought… it was because of pity and how much you've suffered for years and years, or that you could be really hurt from battling your brother. Then one day, one week when you left us it finally hit me and it was a pretty big impact on me too. I suddenly realized that…I DID have feelings for you. I was just ignoring it, but no matter how much I ignored it. It was still there in my heart and soul. I was aware that…I cried because…I missed you so much and I was so worried that you will never come back to me. That once you finish your battle with Knives you're going to leave me, or that you were dead."**

**Tears trickled down Meryl's cheeks once again and dropped to the cotton sheets. She stopped stroking Vash's cheek and wiped furiously at the tears that were newly formed around her eyes. She cursed mentally to herself for crying again. **

"**It didn't hit me that I liked you so much until Milly laid it straight out to me one night when I was in the kitchen. I was crying again and I guess I must have woken Milly up because the next thing I knew it Milly was in my face. I told her that I was all right, but she knew that I wasn't. She knew that I was crying because of you, she knew that I liked you so much, and as for me? I was ignoring that feeling again. I cried and cried, Vash.**

**It seemed that no matter how many promises I made to myself that I will no longer cry because of you. I break it. That was when…realization finally hit me. I did like you. I liked you so much. The problem was…when did I start having feelings for you? I was so confused and lost. I thought that these feelings I felt for you were just normal feelings that a girl just goes through in her life when she has a crush on someone. However, something told me that it was more than that."**

**I was thinking how can you like such a goofy, lecherous, and an idiotic man, but somewhere along the way that thought changed. The more I traveled with you, the more I saw a different side of you, and slowly and unexpectedly feelings were occurring within me for you. Too bad I had to learn it the hard way, huh? I thought I was going to die if I didn't see you again. I was so depressed and sad. Never in my life had I felt like that kind of agony before. Hurt, loneliness, pain, and the list goes on, but then…the next day…when we hit water, you came back to us. It took all of my strength to resist myself to run to you and hug you, but most of all…to cry. I felt the pain in my heart lift up and I felt my old self-coming back, but there was still something wrong in my heart. Like a hole in the middle of it.**

**I didn't realize it then, but that night you came back it hit me. You didn't come back because of me. You came back because of us. I realized that…even though I have finally confessed to myself that I liked you. The real big problem was just occurring. I didn't know if you felt the same way as I do?**

**I thought about the way that I treated you in the last few months. How I yelled at you for being so stupid and dumb. How I lost my temper at you. How I smacked and slapped you on the head with either my hand or an object. That's when I knew…you wouldn't like a short-tempered, strict, and an abusive girl. No one would," said Meryl, not knowing that she was whispering her thoughts aloud to the sleeping figure. "The thought of rejection was so hard and the feeling of dread was so powerful. I knew I didn't have a chance with you, and so…on that same very day I promised myself that I will get rid of these feelings I have for you. Little did I know that wasn't going to happen?"**

**No longer was Meryl stroking the gunman's cheek, but stroking his forehead. The small girl was crying again, but she wasn't wiping the tears away. This time she let it flow, she let all the pain out through her tears, but yet she continued her silent conversation to Vash. **

"**I fought and fought and fought till I couldn't fight anymore. The feelings I had for you, Vash, were growing stronger and stronger by the second, but so were doubts and pain. I broke that promise as you can see, but then I thought since I can't fight the feelings I have for you anymore I might as well let it fade away. So, as you can see I'm still seeing if it will fade away. So far, Vash, it isn't going away at all. I tried so many ways to let it go, but it just wouldn't. My heart was still breaking.**

**I wanted to tell you, but then I couldn't. I didn't have the courage to. Glaring at you seemed impossible, being myself was so hard, and being near you made me almost want to break down and cry because of the thought that you wouldn't feel the same way as I do, but…. at the same time… made me so happy and joyful to be near you. When you smile at me I think I'm going to faint, when you be your goofy, sweet, and silly self I could just laugh and hug you so close to me, when you cry, Vash. I cry with you, when you suffer. I suffer with you. I wish I could lift some of the pain you feel. It pains me so much that you have that huge burden upon yourself.**

**I just wish that…I can take some of that pain away from you. If you let me…that is, but I know you won't let anybody help you. You always want to carry it on your own. You have so many affects on me, Vash, good and bad ones. Happy, Content, full, love, and a lot more that I just can't explain myself. It's like…you bring the inner me out. The one I keep hidden away from you, Milly, and everybody else. I feel so…loved by you, Vash. I don't know how you do it, but you do that to me, just like that. Sometimes...I don't even know when I'm acting different around you. Until you look at me strange and flash a unique smile at me. Then I know when I'm acting different.**

**I guess…I shield away from you because…because. I can't believe I'm saying this, but…because…I'm scared. I'm scared that…you will leave me. That you won't feel the same way as I do for you. That you think that I've gone insane, that…and a whole lot of other reasons and doubts, but…somehow…when I look at you. I just feel like screaming it out to you, to let you know that I'm here; to let you know that I want to be more than just your friend; that I will be there for you for eternity."**

**Abruptly, the petite girl stopped talking and sighed heavily. She continued to stroke Vash's forehead and suppressed her yawn from escaping her mouth. Meryl began to hum a soft song softly to herself and tried to stay awake. Even though it was very late, Meryl wasn't ready to go to sleep yet, but just as her eyes began to droop shut for only a second. They suddenly flashed open wide-eyed with shock and amazement for a single word was said in her mind.**

**Looking down sharply at Vash's serene face, the blue-headed woman could only stare in disbelief of what her mind, soul, and heart had come to realized. The little woman was basically more in shock than in disbelief that her own soul and mind had actually come to the same and only conclusion since the day she had realized that she had a huge crush on the wanted outlaw.**

_"You've got to be kidding me? I can't believe this is happening to me."_

**Not even realizing that she was confessing her deepest secrets, Meryl continued to speak softly to the handsome man that was sleeping soundly.**

**"It suddenly hits me… that…. even though you don't feel the same way as I do. I can never stop liking you. I can't let the feelings I feel for you disappear just like that. I can't stop these new feelings for you, Vash, no matter how hard I try. I just want to be by your side and to protect you always, to always be with you through thick and thin. I now know that…you're the only guy who makes me feel so special, safe, and…loved. No one else can give me that unique feeling except for you and you only, Vash," Meryl said audibly and very quietly, "like I said before. You have such strange affects on me, Broom head."**

**Smiling so brightly like the sun, Meryl now felt like a new person. She felt braver and lighter than the past few days, weeks, and months. With a new sensation within her heart, Meryl was ready to say the 3 words that she shielded away from her heart and mind for so long. She was ready to confess her real feelings for the handsome outlaw. And so taking a deeper risk, Meryl leaned even closer to Vash's left ear to the point that she could let her lips touch his earlobe. **

**With a light, hushed tone, Meryl said with confidence, "Even though...you're sound asleep and you can't hear what I have to say to you that means so much to me now. I don't care...I just have to tell you now or else...I'll just fall apart. I... I...love you, Vash the Stampede. I love you SO damn much."**

"**I love you too, Meryl," a deep and a loving voice responded, "with all my heart and I'm NOT lying to you."**

**Gasping with astonishment and her heart up in her throat, Meryl jolted away from the person who spoke out to her without warning, hoping that it was just her imagination that was playing tricks on her and that HE really wasn't awake. Holding her breath, Meryl stared at the wide-awake gunman, who was staring at her happily with his beautiful and unique aqua marine green eyes that shined with deep and truthful love.**

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Note: Weeeehhh!! That was so much fun! Lolz. Aww...I left a cliff hanger? Hope you all liked! I appreciate it that you took the time to read my first fanfic! I am not going to continue this story. IT IS DONE!


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